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Compelling power stories |
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I Would Like to Share my Story: Last month, August, my boyfriend and I were victims of an armed robbery right in the street in front of our home near downtown Houston. It was one of the scariest and most traumatic experiences of my life, and we were extremely lucky in that no one got hurt and the street punks didn't even get anything! They were just out to scare people and show off for each other. After the weeks of being scared and sad, I was surprised that I began to feel a new emotion: rage. I went to my first gun show and purchased a S&W 642 because it is a great carry gun and I knew I would want to take it everywhere after I got my concealed handgun license. I took the concealed handgun class from the State of Texas and
even convinced You hit the nail right on the head when you said it usually isn't
until women become crime victims do they even BEGIN to think about
self-defense and gun ownership. I'm so sorry to hear that you teach
lots of rape victims. I feel so lucky that the criminals I encountered
Guns are things that women don't talk about. I was amazed to see other women in my class, including a little old grandma who shot her pistol just as well as the boys! Thanks for the work you do in providing information and support to women gun owners. I have joined in your mission. Adela in Houston, TX I Would Like to Share my Story: Two men approched diagnally across the street toward us. One had somethingin his right hand, (I think it was a knife, but it was dark). He grabbed hiscrotch and shouted if I would like some. The other guy picked up a big, flatrock about 8" across and 2" in depth, to break my window. They were still about 20 feet from me, I unlocked my gun box and held the gun so they could see it clearly. They quickly left cussing me the whole time. As I said, trite but true. I believe in carrying my gun, but many women donot, so I want to teach them other ways to defend themselves and allow them totrain with weapons to see if they can overcome the stigma of self-defense. Anonymous I want to share my Story: Vik Dear Paxton, I have relocated to an urban area and am growing afraid for my safety. I realize now that I am buying into a false gender role and I deserve to protect myself, so long as I do it intelligently. I purchased your disguised pepper spray today and have been thinking about taking a gun training course and buying a weapon. What stopped me was my thought that I could not shoot someone. After reading your site, I have become convinced that I could most certainly shoot a person who wanted to hurt me or someone I love. Thanks for the wakeup call! Julie G. H. Dear Paxton, I tell your story to numerous "Anti-Gun Women", and it ALWAYS turns heads. Keep up the Good Work! Sincerely, Liz N. Dear Paxton, My name is Alicia, for five years I lived on the streets. I mostly traveled with my male friends, but now and then I would find myself alone in a bad place. Being young I thought that nothing could hurt me, and thank God nothing did. When I was 16 I got word that one of the strongest women I knew had been found raped and murdered in a vacantlot in Seattle. Talk about a reality check. That woman was MIA ZAPATA, a singer-songwriter for a great band and a wonderful person. In her wake an orginazation was formed to help women and men learn how to defend themselves. They are called HOME ALIVE and they have helped many people including me, with free or sliding scale classes. I am so happy to learn about the other women out there who do what they can to spread the word. Thank you Paxton!!! Dear Paxton, Your words help convey the message. About 20% of my students decide not to get a gun after reading the books but the rest are enthusiastic to say the least. I've requested your catalog so as to get a few more copies. Thank you for "seeing the light" all those years ago and helping us help others to understand that they do not HAVE to be a victim. You're the greatest. Dear Paxton, I am Sergeant with the Okla. City P.D., an instructor for our Police Academy in defensive tactics and have taught women's self defense classes for the past year. That incident really made me see how important it was to continue teaching women's self defense. My wife hadn't been through any training at that time, but being married to a cop she knew enough to fight the attacker off, and to know the mind-set that women --- or anyone --- must have. She said that the one thing that kept her fighting was the fact that she knew she could not go anywhere with anyone. She knew that she must be willing to die in that parking lot, because it would be 10 times more gruesome what would have happened if she had been taken to another location, an abandoned house, a remote field, or a vehicle. She suffered a broken nose, lacerations on her face and mental effects later. Today she is doing very well and has gone through several courses on self defense, pepper spray training and firearms training. Keep up the good work. Your message is strongly needed in today's society. You make very good points in your training approach and I wish you the best in your crusade. Greetings, Dear Paxton, I decided on June 6th to go to the downtown mall for a day of window shopping. I did not take my carry gun with me as I figured I did not need it. After all it was broad daylight and I live in a very small town where not much happens. I drove my electric scooter to the mall not far from my home. I was enjoying being out in the fresh air and cruising along slowly. I had placed my pocketbook on the floorboard of my scooter between my feet.Out of the corner of my eye I saw this man approach me quickly from my right side. He was all dressed in black with a long black coat.He quickly punched me on the side of my face and made a grab for my pocketbook. At first I was stunned, but then I became quite enraged. I stood up got off my scooter all the while screaming like a banshee for someone to help me. There were about 20 people or so just standing there gawking and not one person came to help me. When my attacker saw that no one was going to help me, he made another lunge at me. I then got mad and beat the snot out of this guy with my cane. Finally a man came out of a store and saw what was happening and chased the guy off. By the time the police showed up he was long gone. The police said that what saved me was the fact that I was able to stand up and fight back, they think it took the attacker by surprise. I still can't believe it happend, and that it happend to me in broad daylight it was 2:45 in the afternoon. I drove my scooter home making sure I wasn't followed and since then have not gone anywhere without my carry gun and pepperspray. I hope that other people learn from my mistake. Signed Mrs. Raylene G. C., Salem, MA Dear Paxton, A few years ago, my friend's sister (her name is Mary) decided that she would go to a nearby Burger King for a late night snack. She told her mother that she was leaving and would be back shortly. Just as she left her neighborhood and entered the highway, she notice a car following her closely. She entered the drive-through and so did the follower, right on her bumper (Mistake 1). She floored the car and re-entered the highway, with the follower right behind her. She grabbed her cell phone and and called her mother, telling her what was happening (Mistake 2). Her mother told her to head home (Mistake 3). Just as Mary disconnnected, the predator rammed her rear bumper, causing her to drop the cell phone on the floor. She sped through her neighborhood, with the predator clipping off mailboxes and sign posts to keep up. While the chase was going on, her mother called 911 (finally a correct move). The mother could hear them coming and grabbed a .357 from a hallway table. They live on a cul-de-sac and Mary came to a screeching halt at the end of the street, in front of her house (Mistake 4). The scumbag snatched open her unlocked door and pulled her out. The mother ran from the house toward the struggling pair and (Mistake 5) attempted to hit the thug on the back of the head. The thug turned, grabbed the gun from the older woman's hand, and returned to his original prey. Mary had by this time regained some of her wits and kneed the punk. While he was bent over in pain, she recovered the gun and got her mother behind her. The thug straightened up and approached the two momen. Mary pointed the gun at him and told him to stop, but he continued. She then thumbcocked the weapon and declared, "I WILL shoot you." As my friend says, the punk had a sudden attack of intelligence and stopped, hands in the air. About that time, the Nashville Metro police arrived. According to my friend, it was hard to tell who was more relieved to see the cops, the two women or the now subdued goblin. You may verify this story if you need. I can give you the e-mail address of my friend. Signed Kent Finnell Dear Paxton, Another thing is marking a person. You know you mentioned when the guy in the car ahead of you keeps looking in the mirror back at you. I've always known about making eye contact, like I mentioned at the ATM machine, looking at the person and saying "Hey, do you mind stepping back, your a little close for my comfort". Making eye contact or marking a person instantly lets them know, "I SEE you". "I know you're here". Especially guys, I'll feel them looking at me, at work, or the 7-11, or wherever and whenever I become aware of it, I'll take a loooong look, not just a quick glance. Only then do I look away. I understand it's an innocent move on their part and 9 out of 10 times they break the eye lock by simply smiling at me, I smile back and they move on. I have talked about these experiences with my girlfriends and family. Some wrinkle their noses, some even said, "What do we need guns for anyway?" But I believe knowledge is power and meeting you and hearing you gave me a renewed outlook of the world around me. My shooting skills need work, that comes with time, I know. I spoke with JoAnna just now and I plan on attending the SURVIVE Workshop this Sat. A.M. put on by the Michigan Firearm Safety Association, for Ladies only. It is the only time I get to shoot with other women. Thanks again - It was a time I will never forget, meeting you, learning and shooting. Signed Michelle Price Dear Paxton, After a few minutes...a man started to walk toward me. I didn't see a weapon on him but he as was coming closer he was sticking his tongue and was making obscene gestures.. I had no weapon on me so I decided my best defense was to show him I had no fear even though I was filled with it.. I gave him the hardest stare I could ..looked straight into his eyes..my arms folded. As he got closer, and never losing eye contact,I said in my sternest voice.."You get the hell away from me!" He gave a surprised look and walked away. Now I carry the mini baton and a pepper spray. Also will consider learning how to use a handgun. I have heard you on Ken Hamblin's show before and enjoyed your program. I like your web site too and am going to tell all my friends about it. Thanks so much for helping us learn the best ways to defend ourselves. Signed Terri Dear Terri, Be prepared. Paxton Dear Paxton, Almost 2-1/2 months ago I was raped. It happened in my own room, my own home,with my parents, brother and grandmother sleeping not too far away from my room. I was sleeping on my back and he sat on me. I fought back. Tried to gouge his eyes. I tried to scream as loud as I could but as his hands gripped my throat tighter, all that came out was this low guttural sound. I stopped fighting when he shoved a knife at my throat (which I found out was from my mother's kitchen). All I could think of was that I wanted to live. I still have the marks his fingers left at my throat. The rapist was later known as the serial rapist who claimed over 11 (known) victims. I thought that I had taken all necessary precautions. I have basic knowledge in oriental martial arts. I have a rape alarm which I carry with me all the time and have it within an arm's reach when I sleep. My room windows have grills and my door is locked at night. But just on that night I had left the adjoining toilet door open for my grandma. I have met a few of the other victims, some as young as 15. Evidence has it that he had raped and murdered two 19 year old students earlier in the year. One victim was an old friend of mine who lived about 400 metres away from my house. I continue to sleep in my own room, unfortunately always with the lights on. I'm extra vigilant when I check the house at night. It was possible that the rapist was already in the house before we locked up - there was no sign of forced entry. There are times when I feel like my whole life is over. But I keep reminding myself that I am alive. Only the police and a close friend of mine know that I was raped. For the others, it was an "attempted rape". I'm finding ways to deal with this and it is very difficult. But I believe that I can do it. And I'm looking for help in many ways. Exactly one month after my rape, he was caught whilst attempting to enter into a house. That same night I was called to identify him. He stood so close to me that I could actually smell him. One month and one day after that he was shot dead while attempting to escape from jail. I can't say that I was relieved because even thought he is dead I still have the memories that he left behind. I don't ask "Why me?". I just know that it can happen - to anyone. And that you can never be too careful. Thanks for listening. Signed Mina Dear Mina,
It surprises me how many women who have been victimized won't defend themselves or believe that they can't ever learn, or that nothing they do will make a difference. It surprises me even more when supposed "feminists" encourage this sort of self-hating. Happily, I had a very supportive and loving family as a child, but elsewhere, life was not so wonderful for me. I bought more bruises, bloody noses, and split lips than any 8 or 9 year old should ever have, which caused my memory to "misplace" about five years of my childhood. After having lived with that fear, that paralysis that convinces you that, if you're victimized, the best thing you can do is sit tight in terror and hope it goes away, I refused to live like that any longer. There *are* things that I and every other woman can do to make ourselves safer, and moreover to learn that we're worth defending. Even if any reader of your site "doesn't believe in violence," violence perpetrated against an innocent woman *is* *still* *violence*, and it should not be allowed to continue. If society wakes up and realizes this, that's great. But society
won't do that until we demand it, and we won't demand it until we
know in our hearts that we deserve it, and can back it up if need
be. Dear Janis, Dear Paxton: In the library at her university one such scumbag tried to do just that. She seemed like a sitting duck --- a small, softspoken woman with glasses on her nose and her arms full of books. He simultaneously assaulted her and exposed himself to her. He hit her and knocked her glasses off, showing he was not just a flasher but someone out to hurt her. Gentle Reader, she hit him back. Then she dug her nails in his face and came away with skin under them. He ran of course -- the sort of pig who would deliberately target a small woman as victim isn't the kind of guy who's up for a fight of any kind. Fazia didn't blame herself. Fazia didn't shake it off. Fazia didn't ignore it. Fazia called the cops. They told her there wasn't much they could do. If you see him again, let us know, she was told. Fazia didn't give up but hung around the library for two weeks keeping an eye out for the bastard. (He probably thought he got away scot-free, but didn't realize just how badly his "victim-selection" process had failed!) When she saw him she ran to the phone and nailed him. Took him to court, and had the pleasure of noting that even the other criminals in the courthouse area were rooting for her! (She got a nice laugh when she remarked that he exposed himself, "and it didn't even really look real. It looked like a plastic dog's chew toy.") Fazia is small and softspoken, yes. She is part southwest Asian,
yes. But a pushover? Don't bet on it. Her complete, unthinking willingness
to defend herself against someone larger and probably stronger,
and moreover to hang on like a bull terrier for two weeks before
catching him is one of the most empowering stories I've ever heard. Dear Paxton, We have five children, she's with them full time. She's well educated, attractive, well dressed and drives a nice vehicle. Her kind of "Leave it to Beaver" lifestyle has got her in major denial that "it" could happen to her. She thinks she's too busy to be assaulted. I think she's a prime candidate for rape or robbery. Our small, conservative, mid-west town had an daytime rape recently, plus an in-home murder of a young school teacher. Paxton, what can I do --- without being pushy or inducing paranoia
--- to help my wife take a practical, common-sense look at personal
defense strategies? Dear Cary, ONE CAN ONLY HOPE. It's amazing how blind and stupid a woman can be as long as crime has left her untouched. And it's amazing how wide-eyed and smart she becomes after she's been mugged or raped. It's sickening but true. Mention to your wife that my team and I are getting tired of
training and equipping so many rape survivors --- we'd like to train
and equip a few more women smart enough to learn from the prior
example of others. Maybe it'll wake her up. PS --- Many husbands tell me what turned their wives around was reading my book "Armed & Female". Dear Defenders, Yesterday, twelve days after she was sexually assaulted by a nude man on Goat Island at the Malaekahana State Park, a 22-year-old woman returned there to speak about what had happened to her."One of my concerns about this whole thing is not letting it happen to somebody else," she said. "That's why I'm talking about this. This guy really knew what he was doing and I hope he is caught." The park is popular with campers and surfers. Goat Island is a bird sanctuary 300 yards off shore, and at low tide you can wade to it. This is what the woman, who was visiting from Florida, did in the early afternoon. She was about to wade back when a nude man grabbed her from behind and threw her onto the sand. In the ensuing struggle she nearly blacked out when she struck her head on a rock but she managed to put up her knees up as the attacker fell on her. "No, I won't let you do this," she kept yelling at him as he tried to tear off the bottom of her bathing suit. She grabbed his testicles and ripped. He screamed and ran away. "There's a sense of pride when you come out of a situation alive." she told us. "I was very lucky." Personally I don't think that "luck" had anything to do with it. What saved her, I think, was her courage and determination to act explosively. As Paxton put it, she was "...mentally and physically prepared to put up resistance." And as a Hawaiian myself I should add that she didn't cut her vacation
short. Hawaii is too beautiful, she said. Paxton should give a seminar
here! Dear Dixon, Yes, it takes a mindset of "there is no bloody way this is going to happen to me." And you have to cultivate that mindset NOW, long before anything happens. A crisis is not the right time to quickly develop a new mindset... I've never yet been asked to give my seminar in Hawaii but would
be pleased to do so (obviously!). We would need about 20 to 30 participants.
Dear Ms Quigley: I am thirteen years old and always carry the Hidden Edge with me,
on the bike clipped to the handlebars. Good move, Kevin. A free replacement cartridge is on the way
to you. Never use your powers for evil purposes. Dear Miss Quigley: Dear Joseph: Joseph, you're a veteran, aren't you? This is just another war. Dear Defenders, There are no self defense classes here and indeed we have a very old-fashioned community (lots of domestic abuse accepted). My husband says I probably have nothing to worry about. I KNOW there is something wrong. Am I really crazy? Just what behavior by this man will constitute danger to me? The police tell me it's not against the law to say things I don't like to me, and to stay away from this man. As if it's my fault! Am I right to be concerned? Thanks for listening and for your website. Dear Paula, There are three stages leading up to a violent assault against a woman: 1-Targeting, 2-Testing and 3-Assault. He has already Targeted you. Now he's Testing you. And HE will decide when to move on to Assault --- if you let him. Paula, you maye be in imminent danger. There is a minimum of four things you must do: Number 1: There's safety in numbers. While this stalking is going on, always be with another person in public. Before he brings down his prey, a predator will first attempt to "cut you from the herd" (I know you're not an animal but he is.) Follow this "buddy system" until you've made yourself into a much harder target. Number 2: Read both of Paxton's books immediately: ARMED AND FEMALE for self-defense with handguns --- which may not be the best self-defense option for a novice in public. NOT AND EASY TARGET is for non-gun self-defense with pepper spray - definitely the best option for you at this time. Number 3: Get pepper spray. Since the stalker is already watching you closely, think about a CONCEALED device. We have Hidden Edge which looks like a cellphone or 4-in-1 D-Fenz which looks like (and is) a working flashlight. Both units have police-strength pepper spray and both will no longer spray if the predator grabs it from you. Both units come with water-based TRAINING SPRAY so you can practice beforehand. Number 4: As soon as possible take a self-defense course, however short. Our database shows we have no recommended self-defense trainers in your state or the surrounding states, but the NRA offers their excellent non-handgun course "REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM" almost in every community. (And taking an NRA course should put a "Stamp of Approval" on it for your husband and your conservative neighbors...) Call (800) 861-1166 for the NRA course nearest you. Look, Paula, you're smart enough to be on the Internet, so please, be smart enought to get informed, get equipped, get empowered, and get safe!!! |
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